Stronger

So my friend April texted me yesterday that she'd found my theme song! We has just had a conversation the other day about songs/groups that unfairly got my dislike towards them because of situations going on in my life at that time. Namely Evanescence and Adele's song Someone Like You. Now poor Evanescence just didn't have a chance. In my mind every song sounded the same and reminded me of a certain someone that will remain nameless! Ugh! But Adele, now who can't love her songs, right? So I choose now to continue liking Adele, and just not the song Someone Like You. Everyone keeps telling me, oh I heard this song and it makes me think of your situation. No, I don't want someone like YOU. Hmm, but I digress! Anyway - my new theme song...love it!

In other news, I love my boys!!! The sweet smiles and coos I am getting from Easton now - just make my heart smile!

Love Letter

Since today was Valentine's Day, I have been thinking about God's love and the original love letter He wrote for us in the Bible. I am so blessed that His love is all I need! And just like icing on the cake, I also get the love of my two precious boys here on earth too! So, so blessed! Enjoy and Happy Valentine's Day!

My Child,

You may not know me,

but I know everything about you.

Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.

Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,

for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth

and where you would live.

Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.

Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented

by those who don't know me.

John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,

but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child

and I am your Father.

1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.

Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you

the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you

than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you

in all your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,

I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,

I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away

every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,

not against you.

Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression

of my love for you.

1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,

you receive me.

1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you

from my love again.

Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…

Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

****************************************

Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications

© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

How He Loves Me

God is amazing in so many ways! And just one of those is how He loves us. He loves us constantly, unconditionally, indefinitely, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And all when we don't even deserve it. Isn't that amazing???

Yesterday I was feeling down. The boys are both sick, I'm coming down with something...my head was spinning, work was disappointing and the daily relationships around me yesterday just seemed to be off for some reason. And to top it off, I was mad at myself because my conversations with God yesterday weren't full of praising words that He deserves. Instead they were something like this..."I know You're in control and I trust You. I'm just discouraged. I'm sorry that I'm not upbeat right now, please just keep working in me. I'm here. I want to be focused on you. Please help me."

Ashamedly, I even threw in a "I know I don't need to see anything [His little blessings] to believe and have the warm fuzzies, but it sure is nice when it happens." I know, terrible. But I believe God appreciates our honesty. He knows what we're thinking anyway, right?!? But, I was reminded of this verse from devotional time this week... 2 Corinthians 5:7, We live by faith, not by sight. What a great reminder!

Source: deesbbboutique.blogspot.com via Amy on Pinterest

However, I think He sometimes sends us the tiniest little blessings just as reminders that He's there and that He loves us...like our very own little love notes we might pack in our children's lunches. I had forgotten until writing this that even yesterday I saw one of His love notes...after a discouraging conversation I quickly clicked over to Facebook on my phone and a friend had just posted these lyrics from David Crowder Band's Let Me Feel You Shine:

This place is trying to break my belief 

But my faith is bigger than all I can see.

What I need is redemption;

What I need is for You for to put me back on my feet!

I swear I'm trying to give everything 

But I fear I'm falling, oh make me believe. 

What I need is resurrection;  

What I need is for You to put me back on my feet!

It was the reminder I needed, right at that moment. Oh how He loves me! (Speaking of another fab David Crowder Band song! ;) )

Anyway, back to today's blessings...after the mood I was in yesterday, I woke up this morning with a start! Alarm went off and I was up...ready to face the day, ready to see and hear God. I felt great and was wide awake. Anyone that knows me knows I love to push snooze normally. So immediately I knew God was at work!

My devotional today said...[bolding what really jumped out at me]

Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life...

Remember...Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time...


This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not...[this] goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence.

AND, one of the verses used was one that I have been clinging to through all of my recent life changes:

Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

Beautiful, simply beautiful. What a sweet message from my sweet Lord, just when I needed it. He loves me!

Then as I started getting ready, I realized I had a song stuck in my head. Just part of it really, but that's all I needed...as I turned my subconscious humming into consciously recalling the lyrics, here's what I had:

Tell me, once again who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget Who I am to You, that I belong to You, to You

I'm the one You love
I'm the one You love
That will be enough
I'm the one You love

It's part of Jason Gray's Remind Me Who I Am, seen here from Klove: (actually featured on their homepage today too! Coincidence? I think not!)



Another sweet message. Oh how He love me...Even when I don't deserve it, He love me. And He loves telling me that He loves me! And for that I am grateful! On great days and on bad days, He loves me and He shows me He loves me! He will never disappoint us!

By the way, the devotional I mentioned is Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young and I highly recommend it. It has been such a great addition to my day. I've seen it available via book, app, and even audio book. And there is a kids version! 

His blessings are all around us. Look for them.

My 2011 To-do List

With the final divorce decree this morning, my "bad" to-do list is done! 2011 was full of changes and heartache. Since the end of May when I separated from my husband of 7 years, I have said goodbye to my stepson that lived with us since he was 4 (full time since he was 8), sold my house, sold a lot of my belongings (via Craigslist, 2 garage sales and some awesome personal selling by my best friend Jess), packed up what was left for storage, and moved to my parents house. All while I was pregnant!

Now I have to say, I certainly didn't accomplish all of this on my own! I have had the support of some amazing people and my God to get me through. There is no other way it would have all gotten done. Period.

Through it all though, I wouldn't give up a second of 2011! God gave me a sweet little blessing this October... My son Easton was born. God knew Grayson and I needed him to complete our little family and my what a blessing he has been! I swear I have two of the best babies any mother could ask for!

And another blessing was the growth - spiritually and emotionally - that I've had this year in the midst of all these trials. God uses the trials in our life to bring us closer to Him. Laura Story's song "Blessings" sums it up better than I ever could! You should check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So here it is, 2012. My last bad to-do is done. Even though I wish the outcome of my marriage could have been different, I trust that God will use this experience to His glory and that the boys and I have better days to look forward to.

Thank you God for all of my 2011 blessings - no matter what form they came in!

Peace Beyond Understanding

I have had a rough morning! I think everything that could happen to run me late did, but thank the Lord I made it to court on time and now I'm just waiting for my attorney to get here to prep.

Daycare wasn't ready for Grayson. Traffic on the interstate. Didn't know where I was going once I got here. Finally found a door that was open only to meet metal detectors that sent me back to my car with a random USB cord that was in my purse. Then wandered the building looking for the right courtroom. Whew! Now just sitting and waiting!

Grayson started his new daycare this morning. I swear it felt like I was dropping him off for his first day after maternity leave again. Except this time he ran off to go play as soon as I let his little hand go. I should be glad. And I really am. But I did have to shed a few tears too. Didn't even get to say bye to my little man! But like my devotional said today, God gives us peace and for that I am grateful.

Think that's going to be today's theme. I am currently waiting for my final divorce hearing to begin. Oh how this is not what I wanted! But sometimes we have to move on from certain parts of our life because they will never get better. At least that's what I'm learning. My prayer is that the boys dad will still realize the error of his ways...not for our marriage's sake...but for the boys and his own sake. Life is truly better when we are living it with God. I believe that and that's why I know my boys and my life is only going to get better from here. Again, God giving me peace for these troubled times here on earth.

I'm so glad he gives it because I certainly need it today!

John 16:33
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

Back to Work

Well I finally had to go back to work this week after nine weeks of maternity leave. Luckily it was just a three day week so I got to snuggle all day today with my boys! Much needed after being away from them this week!!! Even though I would love to stay home with my boys, I have several blessings to be thankful for in returning to work:

1. That I have a job. With the way the job market looks now, I'm thankful that I am able to go back to work and provide for my children.
2. That I have some great co-workers - especially my sweet friend April - that make the work day more enjoyable.
3. That my mom is watching Easton until he is one year old. It makes a huge difference not having to worry about him being with someone he doesn't know when I leave him at home.
4. That I have a private room at work to pump in. Granted it's in the middle of our lab, which is occupied only by men...can we say awkward! Lol! BUT, I get to pump in a quiet place, with a locked door, and am able to provide milk for my son while I'm away from him.
5. That my sweet little boy is sleeping through the night! Yay Easton!!! Mama is grateful!
6. That I got to come home to this precious smile...

I'm sure the list could go on and on. But the point is that God blesses us every day and in every situation. Even though I didn't really want to go back to work this week, I am able to quickly name blessings God provided so leaving my boys wouldn't be quite as hard. Some blessings will smack you in the face and others you have to look a little harder for. But they're always there. God is just waiting on us to notice them.

Thank you God for the many blessings you give, everyday!

First Christmas "Alone"

Today has been a mix of emotions...it's the first in 10 years without my husband and my stepson Will. So in many ways it has felt very alone. But, thanks to God, in more ways than I can count, it has also been full of blessings…

We went to church this morning and enjoyed a great service with our church family. AND both boys made it through service without any major catastrophes. Easton slept in my arms the whole time and Grayson only let out one Woo-hoo after a song, and only ran through the back of the sanctuary with aunt Shari on his heels once, and only got escorted out by grandma once. Haha…so I said no MAJOR catastrophes. Lol, but really, he did good. And I got a good giggle from the running episode!!! Poor Shari!

We spent the day surrounded by family…so blessed to have all of my immediate family still here close by and able to gather! Many families are separated by distance or by death of loved ones and I pray that we continue to enjoy every opportunity together and don't take each other for granted!

My Grayson really enjoyed his horse and car and kitchen filled day! So grateful to see his little imagination blooming! Watching him play with his horse and barn tonight just brought such joy to this mama's heart. And he made coffee and breakfast for me this morning! So sweet watching them grow up!

My Easton's first Christmas! What a joy he has brought to our family this year. God blessed us with his sweet smile and sweet, sweet presence.

My Will called to tell us Merry Christmas! It's hard sometimes with everyone being so busy to even fit in a phone call. So I was so happy when he did. And he sounded happy and said he'd had a great day. Hearing happiness in his voice warms my heart!

And last, but most importantly, I was blessed today to be reminded of the most wonderful gift I have ever received...Jesus Christ. His unconditional love and sacrifice has made all of these other blessings possible. And for how great they are, the greatest blessings are yet to come once I am reunited with Jesus in Heaven. What wonder we have to look forward to!!! Thank you God for allowing us to celebrate your Son's birth today!

So even though I have struggled some today with sadness, I choose to be grateful for all that God has done for me! And these blessings that I've listed truly do only scratch the surface. God is so good and we are so undeserving. That's what makes His gift that much more marvelous…that His love for us, for me, is that large!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!